Screwing up all over again
by Sci-fi Girl 102
Summary: He over came his biggest demons and has been able to redeem himself. However can he keep his promise to the one person that matters in his life. She never asked for any of this and was stuck with him no matter what.


**I was thinking about this story idea for a while and finally decided to publish. Also a massive thanks to YouRang, for beta reading the first edition and giving idea to improve. I do have other stories that could follow from this one. If you like this and want more, please read and review. Also national service is a requirement in some European countries where young men have to complete at least one year of military service for their country.**

He knew he had screwed up again. He should have been home when he said he would. He'd promised he would change even after how much he had already changed. The promise he had made had been broken at least twice already.

Gunner was so tired, he half walked and half fell through his front door, knocking over a few things with a loud thud.

"Shit!" He shouted as the items crashed to the floor.

He didn't care about the noise he had just made. If he went into the kitchen, he assumed he would have to face the consequences of breaking his promise again instead of waiting until the morning to do so.

However to Gunner's surprise, when he walked into the kitchen, the room was empty. Nothing was waiting to face him.

"Urgh!" He groaned.

He was glad that the room was empty, but knocking everything over might have just changed that. Hopefully the noise wouldn't change anything so far.

He was getting off lightly this evening.

As much as he loved his life, he wanted to keep his promise he had made, so that he could make his current situation perfect.

He finally had a reason to come home in one piece everyday now.

He reached the breakfast bar and found a piece of paper and pen.

"You Asshole." He cursed himself as he wrote a note on the paper and left it on the counter. Gunner then made his way to the stairs leading up to his bedroom.

What could he say this time? What excuse could he use this time?

Shit!

Why couldn't this just be a normal situation, like normal people go through?

The problem was Gunner Jensen was anything but normal.

As he reached the top of the stairs, he approached the door that contained his worst nightmare he would have to face sooner rather than later.

Taking a deep breath he slowly opened the door quietly, letting the light shine in.

As the light, shone in the room, his true reason for existence lay in the room.

His sixteen-year-old daughter was sleeping in her bed. Her brown hair tumbled over her face as she shifted in her sleep.

How could such a monster like him deserve an angel like her? But then again it wasn't suppose to be like this.

It all started 20 years ago.

He was working as bouncer at a club after dropping out of MIT and following some random dancer in hopes of marrying her. That turned sour quickly and he ended up staying at the club as a bouncer. He had no desire to return to college and his life had taken a dramatic turn from what he had expected. The occasional drug was taken, along with booze and a few one-night stands. Every night girls would hit on him, try to kiss him and give them their numbers. One or two were lucky to get his attention for a night or a few hours. Nothing serious, just a bit of fun, but none of them ever knew the real Gunner Jenson. That honour went to the young bartender at the club.

Rebecca Williams was working all the hours she could at the club to put herself through college studying marine biology. She was quiet, and not the usual bartender type of girl. She never wore makeup to work but was naturally pretty and didn't need any make up to make her look pretty. Her almost black hair making her pretty looks stand out.

Although she seemed quiet, one night he started talking to her and something clicked. He would stay and talk to her, about everything and anything, while she cleaned up the bar after closing time. Sometimes they would even go to an all night diner, have waffles and just talk about random topics, including science. They became best friends

He always worried about her when working. She was so small in height as well; he was worried someone might try and take advantage of her. However he soon discovered that she could throw some serious punches and defend herself against anyone. It still didn't stop him worrying. He would do anything to protect her.

She even helped him kicked the drugs. He would often call her when he felt the urge to call a dealer, and she would calm him down and he felt better. Gunner had a feeling she disapproved of his one-night stands, and caught her looking at him funny from the bar when he possibly had one ready to take home. He still did it but didn't have as many as he used to, not wanting to disappoint her.

They both loved each but never said it. Both scared the other never felt the same way.

However fate was destined to separate them.

After 3 years of working at the club, Barney Ross approached Gunner. An old acquaintance he knew from working out at a gym and the local gun range they both visited. He offered Gunner a place on his mercenary team, called the expendables.

Gunner had completed his military national service in Sweden and loved the rush combat gave him. The money was great and it got him out of the cycle he was in, so he accepted without hesitation.

It just meant leaving Rebecca behind.

For days he avoided her and spend most of his time trying to think of what he could say to her, that wouldn't hurt her or damage their friendship.

Luckily for Gunner, it wasn't as hard as what he thought it would be.

Rebecca had also been avoiding him for a few days, having some news herself to tell him.

She invited him round to her apartment a few days later, explaining that she had some news to tell him.

When he arrived, she looked nervous and excited at whatever she was about to tell him.

Rebecca had just finished her degree early and had been offered a job in San Diageo working with dolphins in the Pacific Ocean. Her younger sister also lived in San Diageo, meaning she would be close to her sister again after 5 years apart. It was her dream job.

As she told him, she was almost jumping up and down with excitement. Although she stopped and told him how sorry she was for leaving. She even offered to turn down the position if he didn't want her to go.

Gunner started to smile when she said that. He then told her he was leaving for a new job to. He told her exactly what the new job was but swore her to secrecy. He could trust her with that information.

Gunner could still remember what happened next, like it was yesterday.

He went to towards, picked her up in a big hug and spun her around. So happy she was getting away from this life as well. She deserved the world.

After he spun her round, he still had her in his arms. His arms tightly around her back, with her legs wrapped around his torso, her arms around his neck and her head buried in the crook of his neck. He didn't want to let her go. He was happy she got her dream job but wished he could still protect her like he was doing just now. How would he cope without his best friend everyday?

Slowly, they both moved their heads, so they were looking into each other's eyes.

Gunner didn't know what came over him. He just knew if he didn't do this now, he would regret it.

Closing his eyes, he slowly moved his mouth to hers and kissed her on the lips.

He had taken ecstasy before, but this was so much better than that.

Her lips were soft and tasted of the cherry lip balm she was wearing. The situation just felt so right.

After a few seconds he pulled away and opened his eyes to look into hers again. He hoped he hadn't just screwed everything up and she wouldn't be mad at him.

Gunner's dream then came true.

Rebecca then kissed him on the lips, with a deeper and more passionate kiss.

Sooner after that, they were fully making out and heading to her bedroom to finally say goodbye properly.

After having sex twice, they lay in each other's, both happy that they admitted how they felt about each other.

The next few days, they helped each other to pack and spent everyday together. Neither was working at the club after handing in their resignation early.

On their final night together, Rebecca stayed at his this time so they could say goodbye properly. All night they stayed up talking, making out and having sex.

They agreed to keep in contact through phone, letters and even discussed plans to possibly make their relationship official once they both got settled in their new lives. Rebecca told Gunner as much as she loved him, she wanted to focus on her career just now. Gunner wasn't entirely happy about it but he knew that it was just temporary for a few years.

9 months later Gunner had just returned home from another job. He'd defied the odds and faced death so many times in the last 9 month's; he was surprised he was still alive.

He wandered into his house, and collapsed on the bed. His face was still covered in blood and dirt but he didn't care. He just wanted to sleep.

As he was just drifting off to sleep, the phone rang.

"This better be fucking good!" He said getting up.

"Yeah." He answered, not caring for being impolite.

"Hi. Is this Gunner Jenson."? A female voice replied.

"Who wants to know."? He replied.

"My name is Mandy Williams." The women replied. As soon as he heard the name Williams, he was wide-awake and listening fully to the women.

"My sister Rebecca Williams is in hospital and asked me to call you." Replied Mandy.

Gunner was now panicking. He spoke to her before he left on his recent job and she seemed fine. If anything happened to her, a big part of his life would be missing.

"Is she ok?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly.

"She collapsed at work with severe stomach pains. There running tests just now, but she kept asking for you. Is there anyway you can get here from New Orleans as soon as you can?" Mandy asked.

"I'm leaving now. Tell her I'm coming." Gunner replied, throwing the phone down and grabbing his spare duffel bag that he kept under his bed.

He quickly phoned Barney, calling in a favour to fly him to San Diageo right then. Barney was one of the few people on the team, who knew about Rebecca and her history with Gunner.

Even though Barney himself was exhausted, hearing the worry in Gunner's voice jolted him awake and he agreed to fly Gunner to San Diageo.

Within an hour, both men were in the plane flying to San Diageo. Gunner changed into other clothes from his spare duffel bag and used the planes bandages and water supply to clean the dirt and blood from his face.

The whole time he couldn't stop thinking about Rebecca.

He never should of left her.

As soon as they landed, Gunner caught a taxi to the hospital to see what was happening to his best friend.

After finding out what floor she was on, Gunner ran to see her and hoped she was ok.

When he reached the room, she looked just as beautiful as the last time he seen her. The only difference was that she looked as exhausted as he did.

He ran to her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

They both held each other for a few moments and until they pulled away and Rebecca broke the silence.

"Gunner, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I wanted to tell you. I was just so scared that you'd hate me and never speak to me again." She said, trying to hold back the tears.

"Hey, it's ok. You're ok and that's the main thing. What do you mean you wanted to tell me?" Ask Gunner, calming her down but was confused at the same time.

Rebecca took a deep breathe before answering him.

'I collapsed at work, with severe stomach pains. I knew what was wrong but didn't tell anyone. I told the doctor when they brought me in what was wrong with me. Then…" Rebecca trailed off mid sentence and pointed to a plastic cot on the other side of her bed.

Gunner got up slowly and walked over to the cot.

Lying in the cot was a baby dressed head to toe in pink clothing.

The first question he wanted to ask was wither the baby was his. However as he looked more closely at the baby, there was no need to ask.

The baby was like a girl version of himself. She had the same chin; nose and piercing bright blue eyes. He could even see light tuffs of blonde hair sticking out of the hat she had on. She had to be the chubbiest baby Gunner had ever seen.

"Gunner, when I found out I was pregnant I was so scared. You always told me how hard your dad was on you and you didn't even see yourself becoming a father. I thought if I told you, our relationship would be over and I'd be alone. I even didn't tell my work or my sister about her, I was so scared. If you don't want to be apart of this, I'll understand. But please know how sorry I am. I didn't mean for it to happen this way." Rebecca said to him, tiers running down her face, while he starred at his daughter.

How could he be mad? He never imagined himself as a father because his father had been strict and hard on Gunner. He didn't want to be a father encase he became his father. However at one point he did think about it when he and Rebecca discussed their future together. This little one had just come along earlier than planned.

As he starred into those big blue eyes, his heart melted away. He was overcome with love for the baby and knew that he could be a father but not like his own father. Just like when he and Rebecca became friends, Gunner had the urge to protect his daughter, no matter what.

At least now no matter what, he had a guaranteed reason to see Rebecca for the rest of his life.

"Can I hold her?" He asked.

Rebecca nodded, as he lifted his daughter into his arms, still gazing into her bright blue eyes.

He never thought he could love someone as much as he loved Rebecca. Now he had two women in his life, who had his unconditional love.

With his daughter still in arms, Gunner moved back to the other side of the bed and sat down beside Rebecca. He moved his daughter into one arm and then he used his free arm to wipe away Rebecca's tears and then wrap his arm around her shoulder and hug her.

"Your right. I probably would have freaked out if you told me you were pregnant. But look at this little beauty that we created. This is one of the happiest moments of my life. We'll make this work, but I'm not going anywhere. Just don't lie or keep secrets from me again" Gunner replied, making Rebecca smile the biggest smile he had ever seen.

"I promise." Replied Rebecca as snuggled closer into his side and the two of them gazed at the beautiful baby they had created.

"I love you" Rebecca said looking up to stare into Gunners eyes.

"I love you too." He replied bending down his head to kiss her passionately on the lips.

Life was once again almost perfect for them.

Due to Rebecca's work, it was agreed that she and baby Cleo, would stay there, until Rebecca finished her research project. Rebecca's sister looked after Cleo, while Gunner sent money and visited as often as he could.

After two years, Rebecca's research project was over in San Diageo. However as that door closed, another one opened. Rebecca was offered a permanent job in Houston, with a better pay.

Gunner and her spent hours talking about what to do. They both wanted to settle down together but Rebecca loved her work as much as she loved Gunner and Cleo.

Gunner loved Cleo and Rebecca more than anything in world, but he knew he would be away for long periods of time. Meaning Rebecca would be in the same position she was in just now but without a job.

They finally came to the decision that Rebecca would take the job in Houston and their situation would be the same for now. Houston was closer than San Diageo; meaning Gunner got to visit more often and keep the strong bond he had with his daughter.

13 years later and nothing had changed. Rebecca still worked in Houston, Gunner was still part of the expendables and they still had their strong bond that developed all those years ago.

All of the expendables knew about Gunner's little family. Whenever Cleo and Rebecca came to New Orleans, they welcomed them with open arms and Cleo had acquired new uncles to protect her.

However every time she left New Orleans or he left Houston, he felt like he wasn't being a good father or partner. If it was his decision he would have them both living with him in New Orleans and he could treat them like a queen and princess. The long distance relationship was starting to take its toll on Gunner.

However Gunner was planning on changing that. He finally decided to ask Rebecca to marry him. He was sick of not being able to share a bed with her everyday. He hated not seeing her everyday and not being a father to their daughter everyday. If he asked her to marry him, surely she would say yes?

However yet again fate had other ideas in store for Gunner.

Cleo had gone to spend a few weeks with Mandy, as Gunner was on a job and Rebecca was away conducting research in the middle of some ocean. Normally if Rebecca was away for work, Cleo would come and stay with him. However as he was away, she had to go to Mandy's.

Gunner came home from the job, exhausted once again with a few cuts and bruises to show for it.

Gunner was fast asleep when someone knocked on the front door

"Fuck sake." He groaned getting up to answer the door.

He froze when he went to the door. Blue lights were flashing and when he opened the door, a sheriff was standing at his door.

Was he finally going to be arrested for all the bad things he had done?

"Hello." He answered

"Good Evening, Mr Jenson. I'm Sheriff Thompson. Would you mind coming to the station with me. Your not in any trouble." Replied the Sheriff.

Gunner knew better than to argue with the police, so he got into the police car and went with the sheriff.

Once there, Gunner was given the news that almost destroyed him.

There had been a boating accident with Rebecca. The boat that the researchers were using had been caught in a storm. The boat was capsized and all of the team were thrown overboard. No one had survived.

It felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. The woman he loved was gone and it was his fault.

He'd encouraged her to take the job 13 years ago. If he had said no, she would still be alive.

After identifying Rebecca's body from a photograph, Gunner went home, feeling numb and unable to stop thinking about Rebecca.

Once home he trashed his living room in a fit of rage and grief.

He had indirectly killed the woman he loved.

"It should have been you." He said to himself, shaking with rage.

Not wanting to think anymore, he called a dealer he knew and got high on as many drugs as he could without overdosing.

The days after were a blur. Gunner went on a drug and booze bender trying to forget his pain. Even Cleo wasn't enough to stop him from getting high and drunk, however she was always on his mind everyday.

Mandy took over the arrangements for the funeral, however Gunner paid for it on the condition that Rebecca be buried in New Orleans. He had little time with her when she was alive. Having her buried in New Orleans meant she was even closer than before. Mandy reluctantly agreed, as she had no money for the funeral herself. Mandy also looked after Cleo, while Gunner went on his bender.

Mandy had to literally drag him to the funeral; he was so high and hung-over.

Once the three of them were back at Gunner's house, Mandy put Cleo to bed in her room, while Gunner lay slumped in the couch, staring into space.

When Mandy came back downstairs, the two of them argued like crazy over Cleo. Mandy knew that Gunner was a mercenary. She despised him for that and the drug taking wasn't helping her dislike of him. He wasn't fit to be a father.

Gunner's argument was that he was her father and that Cleo was all he had left in his life. Rebecca would want Cleo to be with him as her father.

They had agreed to discuss things in the morning when they were thinking clearer and had slept.

Instead of going to bed, Gunner binged on more booze and finally collapsed on the couch and cried himself to sleep.

He had woken up the next afternoon to a note from Mandy. She had flown back to San Diageo with Cleo that morning while Gunner was still passed out.

The note was clear. "Get your life back together and then we'll talk."

However instead of kicking the drugs and getting Cleo back, Gunner did the opposite. After loosing Cleo, Gunner's drug and booze intake got worse. He even tried to kill Yang trying to take down that Asshole in Vilena.

He would do anything to get Cleo back but the pain and guilt he felt for Rebecca was still consuming him. How could he face his little princess, when he hadn't stopped her mother?

He and Cleo kept in contact by phone. Mostly messages as Gunner was too high to answer the phone. Cleo begged him to come and see her. She missed him so much and hated life with Mandy.

After a month on binging booze and drugs, the expendables staged an intervention. Barney and the guys tied him to a chair for hours until he cracked. He finally opened up about the guilt he felt over Rebecca and why he hadn't fought harder for Cleo.

They stayed with him throughout his withdrawal period and got him ready to get his daughter back, with the help of a few therapy sessions with a councillor.

It hadn't been easy to convince Mandy to let Cleo go.

He wrote to her and called her. However every time Mandy answered him, she made some excuse that she couldn't talk or didn't believe that he was better.

Gunner had no choice but to fly to San Diageo unannounced and demanded his daughter back. Mandy and him started arguing as soon as he said it. Cleo wasn't Mandy's daughter but she was acting like Cleo was her daughter. By Law as well, Cleo's legal guardianship was with Gunner.

They argued for what seemed like hours until Cleo broke it up. She had been sat at the top of the stairs listening the whole time.

Cleo wanted to go with Gunner. Rebecca had told her all about his past, how they met and what he did for a living. She thought the idea of his job was interesting and argued with Mandy that when Gunner was away, she was more than capable of looking after herself .She understood why he had been absent and forgave him for not getting her straight away. Cleo knew everyone grieves in their own way and her dad just needed extra time.

Mandy reluctantly agreed after so much pleading from Cleo, however she had set Gunner a specific rule.

If he ever touched drugs or went on a booze bender again, Cleo would be on a one-way ticket back in San Diageo faster than the speed of light.

Finally things were looking up for Gunner.

Cleo and him settled in well together. Cleo did all she was asked around the house for chores and the two of them continued the great father-daughter relationship that they always had. Occasionally Cleo would have nightmares about her mom. When this happen Gunner would race through to her bedroom and calm her down until she feel asleep again. Other times, he would wake up in the morning and find that she had crawled into bed bedside him in the middle of the night.

Every time he left on a job, he trusted her to stay by herself and asked Tool to check in on her to make sure she was ok.

Cleo settled into school well and even became best friends with Toll and Caesar's daughters. Occasionally she would even stay at one of their home's while Gunner was on a job so she had some company.

Things were finally almost perfect.

It was Gunner who kept screwing things up again.

He promised Cleo he would come to all her dance shows, soccer games and karate competitions.

However every time he said he would be there, he would always get called away on a job or be late getting back.

He knew he was letting her down again. She would always say that it didn't matter and his job was important than some competition. However each time he didn't make it, the hurt on her face said how she really felt.

Coming home tonight was no different. The job had taken an extra day to finish, which meant he was home a day later than when he promised he would be. The 1st place karate trophy stood on her desk in her room. Big moment in her life and he missed it.

"I'll make it up to you Princess." He said as he lent down to kiss her forehead.

Luckily she was such a deep sleeper that she didn't wake up.

Gunner got up and took one last look at Cleo before closing the door and going to his own room. She was beautiful although it was scary how much she looked like him and bared almost no resemblance to her mom, except her dark hair and small height.

He climbed into his bed and stared at the photo of Rebecca that he kept on his nightstand.

"I promise I won't let her down again, Becks." He said to the photo as the guilt started to eat at him again.

He had to start keeping the promises he made or stop making them. The hurt on her face was too much for him to bear. He was never strict or hard on Cleo, like his father was to him but he was failing her by missing big moments in her life.

Also if Mandy found out, that would be another reason for her to hate Gunner and threaten to drag Cleo away from him again.

With a final sigh, Gunner turned off the light and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

"I can fix this." He murmured, before drifting into a deep sleep.

Tomorrow was another day.

 **Hope you guys liked it. If you want more leave a review and I'll see what I can do.**


End file.
